Red. One of the many colors that the leaves turn this time of year. The most vibrantly versatile color of them all, even more so than blue or grey- its implications run the gamut from danger to Christmas to…love. And there are many kinds of love indeed, but today I am thinking of the romantic sort.
The man I love is twenty years my senior and the father of two adorable boys. Though deep down I know we can never be together, I cling to one iota of hope that somehow, someday our life circumstances will both change and we will be united. As of now, he is a mentor to me- kind, funny, smart, handsome, and someone who sees eye-to-eye with me on several deal breaking wavelengths. So he is able to give me both scholarly and spiritual guidance. I have never met anyone like him before. I don’t know if I ever will again.
Do you know why? Because a lot of guys cross my path- some I was interested in, some not- and those I was interested in barely gave me a second look. So not only did they not see me, I didn’t see their true selves either. But he is different. He understands me, and I him. If I had dated tons of guys and they all met my standards, maybe I wouldn’t have fallen for this one so hard. I tell myself that our friendship is enough. But then I spot the wedding band on his finger and die a little inside. Because I can’t shake this gut notion that if only I were ten years older, and he was single, that we could have been soulmates. As things are, I guess, all I can do is listen to the songs that remind me of the burning, RED-hot love in my heart that is only going one-way. Did I mention he’s also a music lover?
“Red” (Taylor Swift)
“Wrapped in Red” (Kelly Clarkson)
“Ev’ry Time We Say Goodbye” (Cole Porter)
“Falling Slowly” (ONCE)
“Let Her Go” (Passenger)
“Brown Eyes” (Lady Gaga)
“All I Want for Christmas Is You” (Mariah Carey)
“Dancing Mad” (FINAL FANTASY VI)
“All for Love” (Lady Antebellum)
“Come What May” (MOULIN ROUGE!)