Personals

Memories of Alice

So, for starters, I haven’t seen the new Disney Alice movie yet. But I did find this quote from it, and it basically punched me in the heart. “I used to think Time was a thief. But time is a gift. Every minute, every second.” This tore my soul out through my nostrils, not only because it’s relevant and poignant, but because I remembered that Alice Through the Looking Glass is the final film of Alan Rickman. This, my friends, is why I love art so much. In the way it relates to our world, it stirs up such powerful emotions. Those emotions can then cause us to change how we view said world…or even motivate us to do incredible things. No other forum/medium has this sort of power. But…I ramble! This wasn’t meant to be a post about my “feels,” or an analysis of why art matters.

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Back to Alice. The most lauded work of Lewis Carroll has been special to me since I was a little girl. I’ll admit that my first exposure to the story was the 1950s animated Disney movie, but it captivated me so much that when I got a little older, I wanted to read the book as well.

As a child unknowingly growing up under Asperger’s shadow, I related to Alice. Like her, I felt stuck in a world operating very differently from what my brain knew. I would “cast” people in my life as the denizens of Wonderland. My favorite actress was the Rose in the singing garden, Mom was the Gryphon, my mean principal was the Duchess, and my loud math teacher was the Queen of Hearts. (Of course, my pet cat was Dinah.) I have this one vivid memory of being around eleven years old, sitting alone during recess and reading Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland while the other children played as though I didn’t exist. Going to school was like falling down the rabbit hole.

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“The chief difficulty Alice found at first was in managing her flamingo.” This is one of my favorite lines from the book. Although I have changed over the years, and no longer feel quite as akin to Alice, many things have stayed the same for her and me. Like that line. And blue dresses/black hair bows. Or my fascination with the wonderful oddities of life. When I picture myself as a child, I see someone with braids and eyeglasses, wearing a school uniform and reading the story of Alice. If I could speak to her, much like the Cheshire Cat, I’d say that things will get better. That she will build true friendships and find her way.

So, Mr. Carroll and Mr. Disney- I thank you for your unrivaled creativity, and my eleven-year-old self thanks you!

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